Cursed by the ages

With few exceptions, none of us want to be like our parents. But it does give one pause…. what if I am?

One would like to think only the good traits are passed along. More often than not, that’s not the case. Ancestral sin casts a long dark shadow that passes down the line.

There are obvious family traits you may not want to emulate, but what if there are others? Others you don’t see but are nevertheless playing havoc with your life?

One can speculate why someone behaves in a certain way, but do we ever really know the reason? Environment plays a part, but so does genetics.

So much so, in fact, that one’s DNA can change because of damage that has been inflicted, intentionally or not. In other words, the harm one suffers can be passed along.

As it is, I see how the effects of the verbal and emotional abuse in combination with the neglect I suffered have molded me. How they predicted who I would find attractive.

And how they continue to determine my future. I have been conditioned to allow it. My task? To prevent myself from being targeted further.

This is why it is paramount to recognize abuse (be it physical, verbal, emotional or sexual) and stop it from recurring. That is, one needs to break the cycle.

I have tried hard to prevent neglect and abuse from rearing their ugly heads again. I hope my son will never know their curse. But what about traits I have not yet uncovered?

We are all doing the best we can. And it’s hard to break the cycle. Recognition, willingness to change and doing the work are all required if we are to persevere.

And persevere we must, for our descendants’ sake.