Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

It took me a while to recognize it for what it was, but a recent experience made me realize I had been sucked back into an unhealthy situation.

It was how I felt that clued me in. What alerted me, though, was how I responded. Recreating an age-old pattern, I reacted defensively to a familiar trigger.

My advice? Be on the lookout for moments when you feel like you did at your worst. Feelings will not lie to you. If anything, they are like an advance warning system.

It could be a situation you’re in or someone you’re with. Either way, if you’re feeling triggered, it means that an old wound has been reopened.

So pay attention to what’s going on. And extricate yourself from the environment as soon as you feasibly can. Physical removal is one option, the second is to enforce a new response.

You can only change yourself and how you respond. If you recognize that something isn’t working for you, then it’s time to take decisive action.

My problem is that I always think the situation will improve. That the other person will want the change too. But even if they say they do, it may not.

Why? Most likely because of their limitations. When it’s someone who professes to like or love you it’s especially confusing.

So don’t make the mistake of waiting for them. Not only will you drive yourself (and your friends) crazy, but you will be wasting precious time.

It is only when they realize that the situation is not working for them that things might actually change. Maybe. And that just may be too late for you.

Do what you need to do to preserve your sanity. Don’t get stuck on repeat. As soon as you notice something isn’t right, take notice. And then do something about it.