Getting out of your own way

It’s natural to be protective when you get hurt. What is not so obvious is the toll that ends up taking on our relationships. Because the ways we protect ourselves end up affecting, and most likely hurting, others, as well as ourselves.

We all carry scars from the trauma we have endured. These scars define our limitations. They define who we have become and how we interact with the outside world. And how we are not yet the person we are meant to be.

These scars are formed from years of building up protective walls. Walls that were built to make our worlds safe. Walls that were built to prevent us from feeling fear. And walls that were built to gain a sense of control over our surroundings.

Control. Fear. Safety. All powerful drivers of our need to keep us from being exposed. From being hurt. From having the lives we have spent years building come crumbling down. But if we want freedom, they must fall.

Because it is the lives that we live that keep us from accessing the life we want. It is an ongoing struggle to maintain this façade. Because that’s all it is. If we truly want inner peace, we need to confront this false front head-on.

It is really hard to understand that so much of the struggle we face is not personal. We make it personal because we are coming from a self-directed perspective. We insert ourselves into the narrative because that’s all we know.

In reality, the way things play out has very little to do with us. It is rarely personal. But we are clouded by the stories we have been told. The key is to view events from a distance. Detaching from the situation is the only answer.