The root of all evil?

In coming to understand how trauma chips away at our soul, is it any wonder people are looking for validation?

Validation is defined as follows:

the confirmation of something as true or correct

the recognition or affirmation of someone’s worth or value

We all want to be seen and heard. We want to know we matter. At the crux of it, we want to know we exist.

Trauma touches all of us. No one is exempt. So to some degree we all look externally to feel better. When we have been victims of trauma, a part of us has been robbed. And it is usually a lifelong struggle to regain what has been taken away from us.

But here’s the catch. While we certainly did nothing to warrant it, it is still incumbent on each and every one of us to right the wrong. No one owes us anything. Acknowledging that is a bitter pill, but the sooner we do, the sooner we can get to work.

We have a fundamental right to exist. When a part of us has been eroded by trauma, we will never again be the same. We will always feel like something is missing. And we will be filled with the need to make ourselves feel whole again.

And feeling whole is the goal. It is the work of a lifetime. It is, I believe, the work we’re all here to accomplish. It is that need that makes us seek validation. But our worth is not defined by another. We have intrinsic worth.

We should not look externally to understand we are worthy in our own right. For who and exactly as we are. Just because we are. That’s what being whole feels like. Because that’s what being whole means.