From my earliest memory it was always two against one. Not surprisingly, it was the eldest who typically choreographed the drama. Hard to believe, but we are all over sixty and yet this dynamic persists until today.

Growing up, my siblings were my rocks. We moved enough that none of us had long-lasting friendships until university. At that point we were all in different countries and only saw each other on vacation but somehow still managed to stay close.

Something shifted in our twenties. By then we were living together but growing apart. Other priorities had taken over. I followed the most traditional path – a job, marriage, a child. The other two moved in and out of relationships and employment.

Maybe that was part of the problem. Past comments/behavior suggest the eldest harbored a certain amount of resentment, if not outright jealousy. While my marriage did not last, I am also the only one whose friendships have endured over the years.

We were all affected by our parents’ divorce and the ensuing strife. In a sense, I think I got off the easiest. To this day, I see the effects on the others, and it’s not pretty. Sadly, I believe their unresolved issues are behind the rift that now exists.

It was over the last decade that things began to seriously deteriorate. Several factors combining in a perfect storm with its onset coming in the wake of our mother’s death. Perhaps because the glue that once held us together is long gone.

I no longer recognize my siblings from the people I grew up with. The divide has been cemented by a complete 180 in their views. We currently disagree on every hot button topic that exists, and that is unlikely to ever shift.

My values have not changed, so I know it’s not me. But I am the one now on the outs. I am in good company, so that is not too concerning. But it has been a serious blow for me. Luckily, I have amazing friends who help fill the void.

Part of the problem is they will never admit their mistakes. That would require a shift so dramatic it would be more or less earth-shattering. They would need to completely reassess their questionable choices. And knowing them that will not happen.

In fact, one sibling proudly affirmed their stance during a recent discussion. It was so disheartening to hear. Yet they believe I am the one with my head in the sand. I may not be here to see it, but only history will reveal the truth about that.